Biofeedback Day 5 & 6

Hey everybody! It is that time I talk about my biofeedback sessions. Fifth and sixth. Numbers. Let’s talk about numbers. My last session this past Wednesday, November 29th, 2017, I confronted my clinical psychologist. We are nearing the end of our first round of sessions, and nothing really has improved. I still have all the same mental health problems, I still cannot sleep, and I still have massive migraines.

I expressed to him my concerns. He then goes on to tell me about the 95 percent that have success with his treatments, how all of them are able to sleep better, how all of them got rid of their headaches. OK. I get he is trying to remain positive What about the 5 percent?

This is a tough spot, and my brain wants to go two ways. Let’s have hope. I still have time. I have four sessions to go. Then at the same time my brain says, Travis, let’s face the facts. Nothing has changed. This treatment is not for you. The one thing you have been so hopeful for is not working out.

“I am the one at the sail, the master of my sea”. (Imagine Dragons. Believer)

Numbers. We are more than a number. I am more than a number.

Hope, is something I will not lose. This is what is going to happen. I may lose this biofeedback battle. I may not. What will not happen is my fight for a better me. There are more treatment options. There are more tools I need to learn. The war is not over.

Something I have to realize as well is there is a chance that my brain is stuck in this state. That does not mean I give in to my depression, to my anxiety, to my migraines, and so on. NO. I work. I work every day at learning how to cope better. To be positive. Alternative ways to help my migraines.

Keep moving forward. Isn’t that the theme here? I think that is the important thing to remember. We can become complacent with our situations/circumstances. That is not me. I had my moment with that, but I will not stay in this rabbit hole. My traumatic brain injury does not define me, nor does your circumstances.

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So yeah. Very little progress has been made, but at the same time much progress has been made. I am becoming more motivated, more positive, more of the person I want to be.

To those who want to try neurofeedback or biofeedback, go for it. It has great results. The numbers are on your side, but for me this is where I am at with it.

Good vibes sent to you all – Travis

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27 comments

  1. Travis, the words are easier than the doing, but you are absolutely right! YOU are defining what YOU bring to this journey…and that is unique and special. You are right, you are not a number. You are not a number gathered in a group of other numbers as a statistic before you showed up. You are Travis and that is what YOU bring! Your moment is still being formed! Much love from us. You are on the right track, my friend, even when it doesn’t feel like it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amen. Thank you for the encouragement. These sessions have been hard since I waited a year to get to them, and not much has happened but my faith will remain in God. Meanwhile work each day to stay positive and be the best version of me.

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  2. Gee, that’s hard, Travis. You must be exhausted. You have worked so hard to get this far, so give yourself a pat on the back for that. Does it really matter if you don’t recover to the way you were before your accident? Life would certainly be easier. Not trying to be defeatist, but maybe you will develop other, equally valuable, strengths on your new path to recovery – in your words, “becoming more of the person I want to be”. That’s a big win. If it is okay with you, I think I’ll pass on the neurofeedback, but I’ll get some sun (lucky it’s summer here) and take my dogs for a walk instead. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is something I’m working on doing! Accepting the “new me”. There are things I don’t like, but I know with work I can turn those negative traits/weakness into good characteristics. It’s the walk of life. Learning to balance. Totally agree with you. Part of it is everyone around me was use to the old me and the doctors all want to talk about recovery, so it is just an adjustment.

      And by all means. Pass on it. Everyone has their own path. Just here to share about mine and spread awareness! Thank you for always being a friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ok please don’t approve that first comment not sure how I accidentally hit “post” 😂.

    What I meant to say is I’m sorry that this particular treatment isn’t working the way you hoped. But I love your positive attitude as outlook. As J-Pad says “always keep fighting” and I’m glad to see you are

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my, yes, I tried biofeedback and all sorts of things to treat my migraine, all to no avail. The searching, however, led me to confront a lot of things about myself, and the research I did gave me the strength to say “this isn’t working, time to take charge myself.” I did, and with help from my family physician, I investigated eating and lifestyle happens. It took two years before comprehensive results began to show themselves, but now, I am virtually migraine free and, now at age 51, I am more active than I have ever been. Now, I run long distances, explore, hike, work outside, work with young teens – it’s awesome. It didn’t happen overnight, though, and there are always struggles that come up, but darn it, I have learned to trust myself, to buck the common trends in medicine and training when my gut says “no,” and to fully accept that this is MY journey, NOT anyone else’s. I run far, but my headache situation says I can’t run fast. Okay. So I learn to balance and then run further. Who says I have to be fast.
    My daughter, on the other hand, learned biofeedback for anxiety, and it helped her very much. She is on HER journey, and exploring ways to help without resorting to medication. I am so proud of her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow. Thank you so much for sharing all this. It hits home. First I want to say that I am so thrilled it has helped your daughter. That helps my last point. That it does help a lot of people. Just not me. Secondly to your first paragraph that is what I am figuring out. There might not be a specific treatment for me, so I need to make an adjustment. A lifestyle change. As you said a lot of it is our eating habits, so I am slowly starting to cook for myself and eat healthier foods. Along with doing what exercise I can. I know by doing those things I can see a change like you have! That is so encouraging, and I am so happy for you for where you are at in YOUR journey. SO inspiring. Proud of you BOTH!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Travis, forgive me if you’ve tried the following suggestions, but I want to tell you what I’ve found that might work for you. Cranial sacral therapy is great for TBIs, as is Chinese medicine, specifically acupuncture with herbs. Acupuncture also helped my debilitating migraines—I got them so bad I needed three hospitalizations. I’d encourage pursuing that avenue if you haven’t already. I empathize and sympathize with your struggles since my son is also dealing with a TBI. Sending you love ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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